Mahatma more non-violent than MLK: Patriotic Indian Uncles  march in DC

By Tariq Khan

Washington DC: Over 16 desi Uncles led a march to the US capitol on MLK day last January, to protest the celebration of Martin Luther King's birthday claiming that undue importance was being given to his contributions to the art of non-violence and that Mahatma Gandhi was being slighted. Accompanied by none of their clearly embarrassed wives and children, the Gandhi's so Under-rated He Needs-a-National-Day Association ( GUHNNDA) a 16-member group of desi uncles marched from the Gandhi statue on Massachusetts and 21st ave all the way to the US Capitol, to the chants of " Gandhi Zindabad " ( Long live Mahatma Gandhi) , " King no big deal hai"  ( Martin Luther King is no big deal) and "Give us 2 days for Mahatma" Rajesh Gotikondi, president of GUHNNDA was unapologetic in his statement to the press " Hey, we're not here to please Bush or any of his useless cronies. Gandhi was much less-violent than King. At least 33 %, according to our data. I mean c'mon - Gandhi led at least 3 marches esp the  peaceful Salt March to Dandi in 1930 and that doesn't even count his disciple Ghaffar Khan's march in peshawar. Sure King marched on washington and in the south but that's 4-2 right there and we didn't even count his time in South Africa. Give it to the brown man, people!" The march began witha  brief ceremony at the statue at 9:30 with speeches by each of the visbily affected uncles wearing t-shirts with Gandhi/Indian flag colors and white dhothis with black socks and Nike cross-trainers. Gotikondi was purposeful in the chosen attire  " hey it's cold in January and the dhothis don't cover your feet" The speeches were halted for 30 minutes due to Narain uncle's inability to cross 21st ave in Dupont in time to meet his speech at 9:55. THe respite was useful as the group chose to stop at Starbucks for a chai break and the papdi chaat supplied by Nizam Mohammed's sweet shop  in NJ . Once they resumed, they eventually reached the capitol and took their 1/2 hr planned naps, This was followed by Gotikondi re-enacting Gandhi's famous moment before the Salt March by picking up earth from the grounds declaring "  With this, I am shaking the foundations of the British Empire." Many onlookers remain puzzled by the comments but remain peaceful especially after Nizam Uncle passed out 2-for-1coupons from his sweet shop . "Gandhi liked us to be self-sufficient so hey, discounts for the masses, people"